“I drink wine because it is my solace; Do not blame me, although it is bitter it is pleasant, It is bitter because it is my life,” Omar Khayyam mused in his Rubaiyat. “Art thou aweary, friend, in all thy bones? Drink wine, red wine, and so forget thy groans.”
You don’t need me (or Omar Khayyam, for that matter) to tell you that the world can be a cruel and stressful place, with each day providing a new reason to pour yourself a stiff drink. A natural downer that soothes away the pain, there’s no denying that alcohol provides a quick – and often delicious – solution to stress.
Never-ending work tasks have made workaholism a near default state for most, with alcohol providing a quick ‘off’ switch at the end of the day. Then there are more mundane troubles. The cat knocking over your favorite mug, or the freezer leaking ‘again.’
But what about keeping things sober? What if you want to skip the booze and still feel like you’re treating yourself? Contrary to popular belief, plain water and dull soft drinks aren’t the only options. In fact, there’s a whole universe of fun, flavorful, and sometimes even weirdly healthy alternatives out there. Allow me to play your intrepid guide as we embark on a little adventure through six fabulous drinks that might just make you forget why you ever wanted alcohol in the first place.
Kombucha: The Funky Ferment You Never Knew You Needed
Kombucha is basically the rebel cousin of tea, one that left home to join a rock band and came back packed with stories to tell. This slightly fizzy, fermented beverage is made by feeding sweetened tea to a SCOBY (Symbiotic Culture Of Bacteria and Yeast). Yes, it sounds like an alien life form, and if you see one up close, you might suspect exactly that. But don’t be fooled by its odd appearance. Pleasantly sweet and tangy, courtesy of the fermentation process, Kambucha’s unique flavor will leave you craving more.
But Kambucha is far from being a one size fits all beverage, with different brands and home brewers alike experimenting with flavors like ginger and lavender, hibiscus, and fruit. Some blends feature milder flavors, like basic tea or light fruit blends, while others – like spicy ginger blends – are bold and powerful, intended to wake up your tastebuds, while also providing you with a quick burst of natural energy (not the jitter and palpitation inducing kind that you get from energy drinks or one too many coffees). Seriously, kambucha is the perfect option for those nights when you just want to sip on something that feels fancy but won’t wreck your morning.
Craft Sodas and Sparkling Botanical Beverages
“Wait,” I hear you say, “isn’t soda just liquid candy? How is that a better-for-you alternative?” The simple answer is that all sodas most certainly are ‘not’ created equal. Let’s be honest – Craft soda brands are popping up everywhere, with almost all of them boasting some combination of small-batch brewing, natural ingredients, and their own flavor creations. Small-batch brewing means maximal quality control, while natural ingredients equate a naturally healthier beverage. These are things big-batch soda companies ‘cannot’ offer while maintaining their bargain basement prices. If you want an all-natural artisan ginger ale, or a spicy chili-lime brew, or perhaps a cucumber mint carbonated tea, you need to look for an artisan brewer.
However, you can get even fancier if you explore sparkling botanicals. These are often distilled from some combination of flowers, fruits and herbs, to mimic flavor profiles reminiscent of certain wines. Pop open a rose-infused sparkling botanical, and you can add the same kind of elegance to your next dinner party as you might by opening a quality rosé.
Non-Alcoholic Adaptogenic Drinks for the Win
Let’s talk ‘adaptogens’. So, what the heck are adaptogens? These are herbs and mushrooms that are supposed to help our bodies handle stress in a healthier, more balanced way – because, honestly, evolution’s answer to stress is pretty much a litany of lethal failure (hello rapid heartrate, the release of free radicals, inflammation, and debilitating panic). Sure, the human body is an amazing thing, but it’s response to stress leaves a lot to be desired. Meanwhile, things like ashwagandha, reishi, holy basil, and cordyceps are all the rage in the wellness scene as the key ingredients in non-alcoholic adaptogenic drinks.
So what do these actually do? Simple: grab a can or bottle that looks suspiciously like something you’d see in a trendy café, and inside is a blend of herbs, fruits, or teas designed to relax you, energize you, or just keep you afloat in life’s busy currents. It’s perfect for those times when you want something functional—more purposeful than a plain soda, but without the after-effects of alcohol. If you’re curious but not sure where to start, try a brand that offers samplers, so you can figure out whether you’re an “I love everything minty” person or a “put mushrooms in my drink, I’m adventurous” person. You might find a new daily ritual to help wind down or rev up, minus the morning regrets.
Shrubs: Old-School Cool in a Glass
Long before modern cocktails took over, shrubs were all the rage. Historically, a shrub is a drink made from a mix of fruit, sugar, and vinegar. Yes, vinegar. It might sound like something out of your grandmother’s secret recipe box, but trust me, once you try a well-made shrub, you’ll wonder why it ever fell out of style. The sweetness from the fruit and sugar works in harmony with the tart vinegar for a flavor that’s delightfully complex, a delicious mix of sweet-and-sour with plenty of fruitiness.
Today, shrubs are mostly used as mixers for cocktails, but you can easily make them the star of your next zero-proof beverage. Add a shrub to sparkling water, toss in some fresh fruit slices or herbs, and stir. And just like that, you’ve got a layered, sophisticated drink minus the booze. Serve in a fancy glass, and you’ll be channeling your inner mixologist in no time.
The Mocktail Renaissance
“Mocktails” used to be the sad, neglected corner of the menu—a place reserved for bored designated drivers and timid teenagers on a first date. But times have changed. Today’s bars and restaurants often boast entire mocktail sections showcasing drinks so elaborate, you’d swear they require a passport to pronounce.
You could order a Passionfruit Paloma that swaps tequila for a spicy jalapeño-infused syrup. Or try a zero-proof “Mule” that uses a zesty ginger beer, fresh lime juice, and something herbaceous to give it that familiar snap without the vodka. The key to a good mocktail is balancing flavors: sweet, sour, bitter, and sometimes spicy. Experiment at home with fresh juices, infused simple syrups, herbs, spices, and quality mixers like tonic or soda water. Garnish extravagantly—because half the fun of a great mocktail is showing off the garnish game. And let’s be honest, Instagram’s not going to double-tap a sad plastic cup.
Fruit Infusions That Make Your Water Look Glamorous
Water is boring. Water being boring is a feature not a bug, so I’m not going to try to convince you that drinking water is wonderful and invigorating – because it’s not. Yet, it’s needed for life, so why is it that getting through more than half a glass can be a near herculean task? The answer to not having to answer that question in the first place is infused water. Simple things like sliced cucumber, fresh strawberries, or assorted citrus turn boring water into something crave-worthy. Add in some mint, basil, or even rosemary, and you’ve got a gourmet beverage.
Light and refreshing, fruit-infused water can be as simple or as elaborate as you like – with the creative possibilities being limited solely by your imagination. Think orange and blueberry if your looking for a sweet, summery vibe, or go tropical with pineapple and coconut flakes. There’s no wrong way to do it, as long as you enjoy sipping it. It might not have the bold punch of alcohol, but on a hot day, or after a long workout, it’s assuredly the better option.
So, if you think alcohol is great, I won’t try to change your mind here, but just remember that there’s a whole menu of other beverages worthy of your attention. Skipping the alcohol doesn’t need to mean missing out on delicious drinks!
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